Women may not say this often but we are attracted to politeness. Talking to us in a courteous and respectful tone scores really high points on our ‘mental scoring board’! Before AND after marriage.
The way a man feels attracted to a beautiful woman and his heartbeat is raised when he looks at her, the same way politeness captivates a woman and pulls her towards such a man. Its impact is more felt than can be said.
This may not be commonly expressed but when we are searching for a spouse, women have a scoring board (more often in our heads!) with points dedicated to different aspects of compatibility. While things like a man’s ability to provide financially, his deen, his education and family and various other practical aspects are crucial, softer skills such as politeness and gentlemanlike behaviour is equally important. While many men display this excellence when courting sisters before marriage, may Allah reward them, some no longer try this after marriage with their wives. Holding the car doors for us or waiting for us to join you at the dinner table before you start eating, is something we still highly admire regardless of the many years of marriage.
When you ask us to do something for you, adding a ‘please’ with a ‘thank you’ may not seem like a biggie for you…but for us – it makes all the difference. If you ask any wife in a successful marriage the secret behind her feeling appreciated and admire by her husband, it will always come down to how he notices and acknowledges her efforts through positive words of graciousness.
If its been a while, since you wooed your wife and dazzled her with your thoughtfulness and respect, try it today. The smile she will give you once she realises it, will be worth it. After all, thats all you ever wanted. To make her happy. To be reason for her smile.
Waking up in Jannah 